Trying to have it all, but struggling to find a balance...

Wednesday, January 24, 2018


Hi my name is Vicki and I used to be a blogger. I used to take outfit photos at pretty locations at the weekend, upload photos of home decor and baking pics to my Instagram, I used to engage with other bloggers on twitter. Heck I used to actually update my twitter! I even would've gone to press events and planned exciting sponsored content....

Somewhere along the way I lost all that.

The more I think about my online life and my real life the more I realise that it wasn't a single wave but more a gentle ripple of effects that lead me to where I am today. When I first started blogging there were very few doing it for money, let-alone for a job. There was no pressure and no expectation and I enjoyed the freedom to be creative with content, photography and words online. As the blogging world grew so did my blog. I went to LFW, flew to London courtesy of Matalan, flew to Berlin to attend fashion week among other things and I loved every minute of.

Somewhere along the way I lost my confidence in my style and in myself and as I stood still the blogging world did not. I continued to get invited to events but they were all London based and, living in little Northern Ireland, I couldn't afford to attend at my own expense.

Then, a few years ago, I changed job. Actually, I changed from a job to a career and this was probably one of the biggest culture shocks of my life. As I settled in, I started to enjoy the work aspect of my life (as daunting and challenging as it is) but it left me exhausted and lazy in the evenings. Inevitably, my blog was left alone in a dark corner of the internet.

Shortly after my job-change I found out I was pregnant and free time became about baby prep, nursery decorating and trying not to freak out about the fact that I was going to be a mum. Once again being a blogger was shoved to the back of my mind as I mentally prepared myself (which you can't do by the way) for parenthood.
Fast forward almost one year and Finn is almost one. My life is fantastic - don't get me wrong - and I know how lucky I am. However, I feel myself constantly juggling work, career progression, housework, dinners, childcare, mum guilt and lack of sleep. More than anything I have an overwhelming feeling of spreading myself too thin.
I had high hopes for a blog turn-around at the start of January and fully embraced the whole new year resolution thing about being more proactive. That even included a potential name change for the Magpie Girl but, as its now 24 January and this is my first post of the year I've already disappointed myself with my goals and expectations. I want to continue blogging but I feel maybe I need some sort of schedule for myself (which to be fair has never worked in the past because I've always just gone with the flow and blogged when I could.)

Basically, the point of this post is to let everyone who reads my blog and engages with me on instagram and twitter know why my content hasn't been updated. I would also like to ask you for advice. How do you juggle everything? How to find time to blog, you have a strict schedule or dedicated time slots? Id love to hear your tips and tricks.
And I wanted to ask if I do get back myself back in the blogging game, what would you like to see on my blog? Style? Home decor? Finn? All thoughts welcome, thank you guys. xx

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  1. I hear ya Vicki! I know it's hard to not put pressure on yourself, but try not to. Remember Finn is still so young and needs his mummy alot. Like you, I no longer blog half as much as I used to since having Rose and going back to work. Sometimes I toy with giving it up, but I still enjoy it so I will keep going for now. I'll just finish by saying, I think it's more important for us to have down-time and relax than it is to blog and do social media! xo

  2. Hi Vicki!

    I think that is such a brave and positive post. Sorry, this is a long comment so make a cuppa!

    I have read and loved your blog for years - I think I discovered your blog when I was in my very first job, about 6 or 7 years ago, sneakily reading it at work. You were my very first example of a fashion blogger and I adored your content - still do!

    It took me a long time to pluck up the courage to actually start a fashion blog; I felt like a total fraud trying it at first! But your example inspired me to have fun and go for it which led to a fashion column for my local magazine so you unwittingly had an impact on my career! I don't blog now but my career has grown in so many ways from that first inspiration so thank you.

    Anyway, what you say about the rise of fashion blogging and the way it has changed in ways that make you feel left out, is totally something I have been pondering recently with interest - the way bloggers like yourself were in the first proper wave. You pioneered it, and it was quite a self-directed thing; your clothes and concepts, like creating your own fashion story in each post. And what's happened in the last few years is quite fascinating, the market has become saturated with people who all copied the likes of you! Whilst your pics are and were always creative, stylish and professional, it seems that now the Instagram world doesn't work on polished pics alone, but fashion bloggers instead have this odd sense of wearing a facade like they actually live IN a catalogue. Cos, people truly seem to want Instagram to look like a fantasy world rather than a nice creative take on what's in someone's wardrobe, and how they put things together. You may have got sent things but it was way more real, more...interesting than a lot of bloggers are now. I don't want to diss them, they work really hard and it's cool but it worries me a bit.

    Like you say, now it has evolved and become such a big way of marketing products. But I think - and forgive me, I don't wanna sound overfamiliar - it sounds to me like in some ways you've outgrown IT rather than the other way round - it certainly hasn't left you behind. I think you should enjoy your family life, don't feel like you're on the outside - I don't think you should worry about 'keeping pace' with the bloggers who are in a position to make it their job, which becomes an entire life, they have to plough more than 9 hours a day plus into it and probs get burnt out being this Instagram persona, for better or worse. Vicki, you have done amazingly to have the consistency to keep the blog going at all with all of your exciting life changes. Enjoy being a mum, a wife, and yourself. And I'd love to read more posts about your home, creative ideas you have for your home, travel and all the things you are so great at writing about


  3. Oh, I can totally understand how you feel. Although I'm not a mom, I've last year struggled to stay on track with what content I wanted to produce. Due to full-time internship, uni, part-time job and then just generally life... But I think what works for me is that I tell myself "ok this weekend I know I have time to do some blogging, so I can get some of the things written that I've wanted to do for a while". Of course there are some days where I just don't have the inspiration and then it doesn't happen. But generally, it happens.

    And best advice is to not beat yourself up if you don't blog - just accept it and say perhaps tomorrow I will do it, or take smaller steps. One day you take some photos, and the next you write a little bit, and then suddenly theres a post :) But definitely try not to feel bad about it, because that's not what blogging should do <3


  4. I feel you. It's so hard to find the time and motivation to blog when you're a working parent. It's virtually all I do with my 'spare' time but I love it. I wrote a post on finding the time for daily blogging which might help:

  5. Great post! I am nowhere near as busy as you! No kids or house yet but I use to feel that same guilt over my blog and how I never gave it time and never took to schedule. Last year I just said to myself if I feel like posting I will, I you know what happened, I didn't post! And felt totally fine about it! I think the blog world has changed and to be honest I'm more likely to read instagram posts that click onto a blog! I think if you are the type of person who feels they need to finish what they started it can be hard to let go if its not serving you. You can probably get what you like out of blogging by using simpler methods like we have now such as instagram and share all the updates you like to write about.The blog isn't dead but it can be moved to a new platform, aka instagram and put your focus there.

    Sorry a bit wordy, and you might not feel the same way but that's been my experience :)

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